Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
