wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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