i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
