I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
