i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
