I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
