we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
