We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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