I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
