there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
