I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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