all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize