I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
