Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
