I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
