is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
