going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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