feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's blow job season.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
