So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
