Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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