literally had 100 drinks last night.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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