I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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