Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize