i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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