The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
