you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
