I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
