I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
