WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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