We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
