After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You are a genius and a whore.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
