Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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