Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize