Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
