i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
