I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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