I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
