I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
