i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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