Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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