that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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