the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
