But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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