I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
