dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
