Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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