i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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