so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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