is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
