How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
