My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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