If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
