The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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