can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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