her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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