Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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