In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
