Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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